images, crammed, toilet humour, animal, feral cat, rescue

Dear Diary,

Never in my life did I think I would have to get close to humans whilst dealing with animals. I got a call from a good friend that said a cat was hanging around a woman’s home she was delivering to, she said the cat was injured and looked grubby and skinny. Off I went to help and see what I could do, in the meantime I asked her to get the lady to put the cat in a room so it would be easier to check the cat for a chip and place the cat into a box. Of course as per usual the lady that found the cat didn’t drive so she couldn’t take the cat herself to the vet. I turned up and already sensed my friend was a little stressed out by the whole situation, I asked where the cat was and she pointed towards a house, so I went and knocked. ┬áThis very small but heavily set woman answered the door, she said she’s really worried about him as he seemed different today than he normally does. She then pointed at a door behind her and said that he was in there. The woman wanted to come into the room with me and my big basket, to which I though was fine at first as the cat knew her. What a mistake that was!

The room was a downstairs toilet, you know the ones where there is literally room for a sink, a toilet and legs. Well here she was with her big pair of knockers in this room with me, my basket and what I thought would be a friendly cat turned out to be a complete feral. I couldn’t bend down, couldn’t place my basket on the floor and I couldn’t get past the lady either. What was even better was everytime I tried to bend over to see the cat she leaned over to see what I was doing, by doing so she shoved her nipple in my ear, pressing my head against the wall and squashing my face. I couldn’t see where the cat was and felt extremely uncomfortable!

After 5 minutes of battling to even see the cat with her nipple tickling my ear drum I asked her to leave the room which made the situation even more uncomfortable as she had to squeeze past me and my boobs to get back out, she stumbled and grabbed my left boob before she could grab the door handle to get out. Finally, I was alone with the cat who by this time was stressed and hissing at me. I knew I was going to get a bite or scratch so I just went for it I didn’t want all that stress to be for nothing so I grabbed him and put him straight in the basket.

My friend then offered to take him to the vets, I explained what went on in that bathroom as she said she sat outside giggling at all the banging and huffing/puffing this woman was doing in there (it must have sounded really wrong). I thanked the lady for all of her help and my friend went to the vets with the cat. I thought that was the end of everything, oh how I was wrong!

One of the vet nurses tried to place the cat into one of their hospital pens, didn’t close the door to that room, he shot out of that room past 3 vet nurses and vets and ran out of the back door!!!

I can still feel that nipple tickling my ear drum……

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